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Recently, I was diagnosed with A. A. A. D. D.
- Age Activated Attention Deficit Disorder.
This is how it manifests:
I decide to water my garden.
As I turn on the hose in the driveway,
I look over at my car and
decide my car needs washing.
As I start toward the garage, I notice that
there is mail on the
porch table that I brought up
from the mail box earlier.
I decide to go through the mail before
I wash the car.
I lay my car keys down on the table, put
the junk mail in the
garbage can under the table, and notice
that the can is full.
So, I decide to put the bills back on the
table and take out the
garbage first.
But then I think, since I'm going to be near
the mailbox when I take
out the garbage anyway, I may as well
pay the bills first.
I take my check book off the table, and see
that there is only 1
check left. My extra checks are in my desk
in the study, so I go
inside the house to my desk where I find
the can of Coke that I had
been drinking.
I'm going to look for my checks, but first
I need to push the Coke
aside so that I don't accidentally knock it
over. I see that the
Coke is getting warm, and I decide I should
put it in the
refrigerator to keep it cold.
As I head toward the kitchen with the Coke,
a vase of flowers on the
counter catches my eye--
they need to be watered.
I set the Coke down on the counter,
and I discover my reading
glasses that I've been searching for
all morning.
I decide I better put them back on my desk,
but first I'm going to
water the flowers.
I set the glasses back down on the counter,
fill a container with
water and suddenly I spot the TV remote.
Someone left it on the
kitchen table.
I realize that tonight when we go to watch TV,
I will be looking for
the remote, but I won't remember that it's
on the kitchen table, so
I decide to put it back in the den where
it belongs, but first I'll
water the flowers.
I pour some water in the flowers,
but quite a bit of it spills on
the floor. So, I set the remote back down
on the table, get some
towels and wipe up the spill.
Then, I head down the hall trying to remember
what I was planning to
do.
At the end of the day:
----the car isn't washed,
----the bills aren't paid,
----there is a warm can of Coke sitting on the counter,
----the flowers don't have enough water,
----there is still only 1 check in my check book,
----I can't find the remote,
----I can't find my glasses,
----and I don't remember what I did with the car keys.
Then, when I try to figure out why nothing got done today, I'm
really baffled because I know I was busy all day long, and I'm
really tired.
I realize this is a serious problem, and I'll try to get some help
for it, but first I'll check my e-mail.
Do me a favor, will you? Forward this message to everyone you know,
because I don't remember to whom it has been sent.
Don't laugh -- if this isn't you yet, your day is coming!!
GROWING OLDER IS MANDATORY. GROWING UP IS OPTIONAL.
LAUGHING AT
YOURSELF IS THERAPEUTIC.
P.S. I just remembered, I LEFT THE WATER RUNNING
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